That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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