I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize