Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
