HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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