Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
