No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
