its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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