I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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