His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
