didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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