Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
