I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
