yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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