So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
