Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
