Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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