I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Enjoy the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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