i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
