..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I need water and some morals
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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