i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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