We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
