need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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