batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
