The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
