did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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