Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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