Where did you get a picture of my penis
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
