I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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