Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
