bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize