that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize