Sponge bath it is.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize