She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
