Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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