I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize