Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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