Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
