he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
