I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
