I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize