I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
