That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
