There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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