I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
