It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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