In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
