Welp...herpes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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