dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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