Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
