Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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