I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
