There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
