which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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