Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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