hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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