since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
