The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
