Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
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Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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