Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
