i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
