I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
