i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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