now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
