Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
