Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
